There are good reasons why Europe’s Jews are so worried (Reblog)

A very intelligent analysis to share....

There are good reasons why Europe’s Jews are so worried

By Harold James, February 11, 2016

The Weimar Republic, Germany’s flawed experiment in democracy in the 1920s, has become today’s paradigm for the failure of state and society. By the end of Weimar, the government seemed to have lost control — vigilantes from the political extremes claimed they were keeping the streets safe while beating up vulnerable minorities, above all Jews. So it is shocking when citizens in Germany and France — and elsewhere in Europe — increasingly cite Weimar when discussing their society today.

The European Union now does sometimes resemble a replay of Weimar’s combination of institutional perfection with violent and nationalist forces aimed at tearing down the “system.” Though Germany’s 1919 constitution, written in the city of Weimar, was widely viewed as a model document, throughout the 1920s the constitutional dream seemed ever more disconnected from public life.

The political leaders of France and Germany today deplore anti-Semitism and make striking gestures of solidarity with their country’s Jewish population, but the gestures seem helpless. The number of anti-Semitic incidents, as tracked by such bodies as the European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights, is on the rise. Many Jews in many European countries, but above all in France, are contemplating leaving because they believe their homelands have become so unsafe. The political establishment tries to reassure them with the argument that the parallels with 1933 are really too much of a stretch.

To a degree, the reassuring voices are correct. Many of the most prominent recent European incidents are not the outcome of an old-style anti-Semitism in France or Germany. Indeed, the right-wing French National Front under Marine Le Pen has distanced itself from its older positions — as articulated by her father, Jean-Marie Le Pen, who was convicted of Holocaust denial after calling the wartime Nazi occupation of France “not particularly inhuman.” In fact, today’s National Front sometimes refers to Israel as an ally against Islamism. In the new grass-roots anti-immigration movement in eastern Germany, PEGIDA, the explicit target is “Islamicization,” and Israeli as well as Russian flags were prominently displayed in some of its early rallies.

At the beginning, Weimar’s political institutions were skillfully designed to be as representative as possible. Most Germans viewed their society as remarkably tolerant. German Jews in the 1920s often emphasized that they lived in a more inclusive society than France’s, which was still riven by the legacy of the Dreyfus case, when the army and the church prosecuted an innocent Jewish officer for espionage, or than the United States’, where prime real estate and universities were often not open to Jews.

This misconception about German stability lasted a long time, indeed extending for a time after Adolf Hitler became chancellor on Jan. 30, 1933. Right up until April 1933, when the regime launched a “boycott” of Jews, many German Jews refused to accept that anti-Semitism could be politically serious.

Today, the most obviously violent threats clearly come from Islamic terrorism, from groups affiliated to or imitating Islamic State. That is the story of the attack on the Jewish supermarket in Paris, where four were killed last January, which came in the wake of the attack on the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo. It is also cited to explain the attack on the Jewish Museum in Brussels, or of some of the many synagogue attacks. The Agency for Fundamental Rights even tries to register incidents separately and attributes some of them to “foreign ideology,” meaning radical or jihadist Islamism.

Yet the jihadist incidents are — in numerical terms — a minority. There is, however, an intellectual contagion, in which native far-right radicals often use anti-Israel and anti-American slogans that proliferate in the Middle East as part of their anti-Semitic arsenal. In France and Britain the “quenelle,” a version of the Hitler salute, popularized by the French comedian Dieudonné M’Bala M’Bala has become popular with the racist right.

In addition, arguments about anti-Semitism have spilled over into the discussion of the refugee crisis confronting Europe. For some, the large-scale inflow of more than a million refugees in one year, from the Middle East and North Africa, is bound to lead to an inflow of actual terrorists, who can easily conceal themselves in the crowds of migrants. But it is also being blamed for a possible influx of terrorist ideas. Anti-Semitic texts such as Mein Kampf or the Protocols of the Elders of Zion are widely available in the countries from which migrants are moving; and anti-Semitism, usually linked to anti-Israelism, is a natural ingredient of the social and cultural milieu that is moving into Europe.

Critics of large-scale immigration use the supposed anti-Semitic culture of many migrants as an argument against migration. They then make a case about the superiority of their native or indigenous culture — which can also, paradoxically, include hostility to aliens. So Jews feel vulnerable on two fronts: vulnerable because of who is attacking them, and vulnerable because of who is defending them.

The classic liberal answer to the new threat is that the state has an absolute and unconditional duty to protect all its citizens. That is the position that Germany’s Chancellor Angela Merkel and French Prime Minister Manuel Valls insistently, and rightly, defend.

But many people will also ask whether the state can really offer so much security. It is increasingly obvious that the police are overstretched. That was true even before the flood of refugees. A long trial currently under way in Munich, Germany, has highlighted the way in which the intelligence service that was dedicated to “protection of the constitution” (Verfassungsschutz) against right-wing terrorists was for a long time blind to the threat. Instead, it had undermined its efforts by engaging members of far-right-wing groups as informers. Dealing with the new kinds of threat demands a far greater security presence, as well as new methods of surveillance.

As more and more incidents demonstrate police ineffectiveness, new groups will mobilize for self-protection. The incidents on New Year’s Eve in Cologne and in other German cities, in which criminal groups, composed largely of migrants from North Africa, stole from and sexually harassed women, have led to the formation of citizens’ patrols. In many cases, the personnel of these patrols come from the far right and its sympathizers.

That brings the story back to Weimar. In the last years of the republic, German streets were controlled not by the police but by paramilitary groups, of the left (the communist Red Front Fighters’ League) as well as the right (the Nazi Stormtroopers). Then, even the parties of the center believed that they, too, needed their own defense organizations, and built up their own leagues. When the government tried to ban the Nazi Stormtroopers, the army objected on the grounds that it believed it could not effectively fight all the different leagues simultaneously.

One lesson of Weimar is that it is very dangerous for the state to give up its legal monopoly of violence. One key feature that makes modern life civilized is precisely that we don’t take the law into our own hands. But the existence of threats, real or imagined, creates a great deal of pressure for “self-defense.”

There is a second, related lesson. Violent and ostensibly antagonistic ideologies may be quite capable of fusing. Sometimes in Weimar, the far right and far left just fought each other; on other occasions, they joined together in attacking the “system.” Today in Europe, there are the same curious blends, sometimes of jihadism with traditional anti-Semitism, or anti-jihadism and anti-immigrant populism with traditional anti-Semitism.

The fusing of dangerous ideologies makes members of small groups vulnerable. They are additionally vulnerable when the state promises protection that it cannot actually deliver. That is why Europe’s Jews are so worried.

From Harold James Blog, Reuters:
http://blogs.reuters.com/great-debate/2016/02/11/there-are-good-reasons-why-europes-jews-are-so-worried/

Six Signs of Genuine Repentance

"I’ll Change, I promise" 
Six Signs of Genuine Repentance

by Dr. Bryce Klabunde, Soul Care Pastor, College Avenue Baptist Church, San Diego, CA

Many changes come naturally as we mature. Sometimes, though, negative habits form deep ruts, and it seems we can’t change, no matter how much we want to. Friends urge us to alter course and warn us of dangers ahead if we don’t. We read in Scripture about God’s path of wisdom, and His Spirit awakens our spirit to a new vision of a better life in Christ. With tears of determination, we tell ourselves, our loved ones, and our Lord that things will be different. “I’ll change, I promise.” And we really mean it. We feel a deep sense of sorrow for our sin, even disgust. However, as time passes, the pull of the rut overpowers our most sincere promises, and we fall back into old patterns.

Part of the problem may be our mistake in thinking that sorrow and confession are enough to produce change. Another part is the misunderstanding of the process of change—a process the Bible calls repentance. 

Is Repentance the Same as Remorse?

According to the New Testament, there’s a difference between repentance and remorse. Judas “felt remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priest and elders” (Matthew 27:3). He even confessed his crime: “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood” (v. 4). Judas had come face to face with the hideous beast of evil in his soul, and he shrank back in terror and shame. Tragically, instead of leading him to God and life, his guilt hounded him to the gates of death. Eventually, his shame turned to self-hatred, and it drove him to suicide.

The apostle Paul calls this “the sorrow of the world” because the world offers no hope for people racked with guilt (2 Corinthians 7:10b). But there is another sorrow that produces life, as Paul describes:

I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, in order that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation. (2 Corinthians 7:9-10a)

The sorrow of an alcoholic, for example, can either drown him in crashing waves of self-pity . . . or carry him to the shores of a new life. The determining factor is not the sorrow itself but whether the sorrow brings the sinner to repentance.

What Is Repentance?

Repentance is first a decision. The most common Greek word in the New Testament translated “repent” is metanoeo, which is based on the word for thoughts or intentions, nous (see Acts 8:22) and literally means to “change one’s mind.” Penitent people take a deep look inside and face the truth about themselves—how they’ve been excusing their sins and hurting others. They come to a decision point, or what Paul called, “the point of repentance” (2 Corinthians 7:9), in which they change their mind from pleasing the flesh to pleasing God, from trusting in self to trusting in a Savior.

This repentance decision may come at the moment of our salvation as we place our faith in Christ for the first time. It may also be a point of recommitment as we determine to follow Christ with our whole heart. In either case, it is the beginning point to a process of change.

Hand in hand with this decision is a second principle: turning. The Old Testament prophets preached a message of repentance using a special Hebrew word that means, “turn around, return.” The Lord urges His redeemed people to return to Him because He has forgiven their sins:

“I have wiped out your transgressions like a thick cloud, And your sins like a heavy mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you.” (Isaiah 44:22)

The Lord is asking His people to take a completely new direction in life. This implies two parts: turning away from sin and returning to the Lord. And it implies a relationship between us and God—much like the relationship between the prodigal son and his father in Jesus’ parable. After the son comes to his senses in the pigsty, he turns from his sin and returns to his father (see Luke 15:11-32).

The decision of repentance and the turning of repentance are demonstrated by the fruit of repentance—deeds that flow from the life of a changed person. The prophets described these deeds in practical terms: “Therefore, return to your God, Observe kindness and justice” (Hosea 12:6a). John the Baptizer specified the fruit of repentance this way:

“Let the man who has two tunics share with him who has none; and let him who has food do likewise.” And some tax-gatherers also came to be baptized, and they said to him, “Teacher, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Collect no more than what you have been ordered to.” And some soldiers were questioning him, saying, “And what about us, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Do not take money from anyone by force, or accuse anyone falsely, and be content with your wages.” (Luke 3:11b-14)

Repentance, then, is not merely feeling sorry for sin. A person may feel deep remorse for his or her critical spirit, anger, or greed. A pastor caught in immorality may kneel before the congregation and weep bitterly over the condition of his soul. As important as it is to feel the weight of our sin, these emotions are not repentance. In fact, if we accept these tears as repentance, we can actually hinder the person from doing the really hard work of change.

With all this in mind, let’s draw up a definition: Repentance is the process of turning from our sinful way of life and turning to godliness. It is characterized by a change of thinking and a change of behavior.

The path of repentance often leads through dark periods of self-examination and painful surrendering of selfishness and pride. Repentance includes letting go of cherished sinful pleasures and being accountable to others who help us lift our wheels out of the rut as we plow a new course in life. It marks a renewed relationship with the Lord based on a revived belief that His way is truly best and His righteousness is life’s greatest treasure.

What Are Practical Signs of Repentance?

How do you know if you’re on the path of repentance? What does the penitent life look like? How can you tell if someone you love is really changing? People who are serious about change tend to display similar behaviors that let you know they are on the right track. Here are a few signs you’ll find in a truly repentant person:

1. Repentant people are willing to confess all their sins, not just the sins that got them in trouble. A house isn’t clean until you open every closet and sweep every corner. People who truly desire to be clean are completely honest about their lives. No more secrets.
2. Repentant people face the pain that their sin caused others. They invite the victims of their sin (anyone hurt by their actions) to express the intensity of emotions that they feel—anger, hurt, sorrow, and disappointment. Repentant people do not give excuses or shift blame. They made the choice to hurt others, and they must take full responsibility for their behavior.
3. Repentant people ask forgiveness from those they hurt. They realize that they can never completely “pay off” the debt they owe their victims. Repentant people don’t pressure others to say, “I forgive you.” Forgiveness is a journey, and the other person needs time to deal with the hurt before they can forgive. All that penitent people can do is admit their indebtedness and humbly request the undeserved gift of forgiveness.
4. Repentant people remain accountable to a small group of mature Christians. They gather a group of friends around themselves who hold them accountable to a plan for clean living. They invite the group to question them about their behaviors. And they follow the group’s recommendations regarding how to avoid temptation.
5. Repentant people accept their limitations. They realize that the consequences of their sin (including the distrust) will last a long time, perhaps the rest of their lives. They understand that they may never enjoy the same freedom that other people enjoy. Sex offenders or child molesters, for example, should never be alone with children. Alcoholics must abstain from drinking. Adulterers must put strict limitations on their time with members of the opposite sex. That’s the reality of their situation, and they willingly accept their boundaries.
6. Repentant people are faithful to the daily tasks God has given them. We serve a merciful God who delights in giving second chances. God offers repentant people a restored relationship with Him and a new plan for life. Listen to Hosea’s promise to rebellious Israel:

Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence. (Hosea 6:1-2, emphasis added)

After healing comes living. Repentant people accept responsibility for past failures but do not drown themselves in guilt. They focus their attention on present responsibilities, which include accomplishing the daily tasks God has given them.

One final thought. Repentance is not a solo effort. God doesn’t expect us to lift ourselves up by our own bootstraps. Through His indwelling Spirit, God shapes and molds us to make us pure and blameless in Christ. Listen to Paul’s hopeful words: “for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13). For many people, the first cry of repentance is, “I can’t change by myself; I need You, God.” Thankfully, those are the sweetest words to God’s ear.

From:

http://markwgaither.wordpress.com/2009/06/02/ill-change-i-promise-six-signs-of-genuine-repentance

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“Apology”: Is It Biblical?

Review by Elizabeth Lynn

The book, From Forgiven to Forgiving, by Jay Adams, helps to clarify the distinction between biblical forgiveness and that of apology. The latter is the world’s substitute for repentance since natural man knows nothing of their need for it. As Christians, however, we must understand the difference and recognize that we sin first against a holy God, which should bring about a penitent attitude toward our sin. Unlike the unbeliever who cannot experience the godly sorrow of conviction so as not to repeat a transgression, the believer should seek to make right his wrong by means of his repentance before God and others, as inherent within the biblical standard of 1 Corinthians 7:11.

The meaning of the Greek word apologia is “to defend oneself against a charge of doing wrong.” That is why the unbeliever will rationalize and justify himself, offering perhaps an apology, but often without genuine recognition of his offense. For the unbeliever or unrepentant believer, apology is a means to an end as well as an end in itself as it alleviates the guilt needed to educate the conscience. The words, “I’m sorry if I hurt you” or “I’m sorry that you were hurt” really is not an apology and simply expresses a feeling about what happened.

Without remorse or the admission of any real wrongdoing, apology can lack authenticity and therefore is nothing more than a self-serving, or worse, self-deceptive, motivation that seeks to gain personal relief without consequence or restitution. For the believer, this is a serious detriment, not just to the Body of Christ but particularly to the maturing of the believer. Our objective should not be to defend or deflect but to be reconciled, for without repentance and forgiveness no viable relationship is genuinely possible.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is not an end in itself but a means to an end. Therefore, biblical forgiveness is conditional in that it requires the offender to acknowledge (confess) his wrong and ask the one offended for his forgiveness. This then frees him from the offense and shifts the responsibility to the offended to forgive. It then rests on him to do what God expects of him. Forgiveness is a choice we make to cancel the debt, as well as a promise to never bring the matter up again to the offender, to another, and even to one’s self. It is a commitment that both parties make to settle the matter once and for all. Just as our Father and Lord remember our sins no more when we seek forgiveness, so then should we.

To not confess or forgive are acts of the flesh, willful disobedience or deception, which are enmity toward a holy God. As Christians, we must seek peace and pursue it (1 Pet. 3:11b) and be willing to confess our sins and forgive one another so that we may “keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.” As the Church, it is our witness to “love thy neighbor” as we extend the same grace that was freely given us for our own sins. God’s Word tells us that we have all fallen short of His glory, and embracing that truth enables us to more readily confess or biblically forgive. Ephesians 4:32 is a good reminder, as is the exhortation in the title of this book: “From Forgiven to Forgiving.”

From:

http://thelivingtruthfellowship.org/jtltf/bible-teachings/articles-by-topc/book-reviews/63-apology-is-it-biblical

P.S.

Numbers 5:6-7

6 “Speak to the people of Israel, When a man or woman commits any of the sins that people commit by breaking faith with the Lord, and that person realizes his guilt, 7 he shall confess his sin that he has committed. And he shall make full restitution for his wrong, adding a fifth to it and giving it to him to whom he did the wrong.

Leviticus 6:1-5

1 The Lord said to Moses: 2 “If anyone sins and is unfaithful to the Lord by deceiving a neighbor about something entrusted to them or left in their care or about something stolen, or if they cheat their neighbor, 3 or if they find lost property and lie about it, or if they swear falsely about any such sin that people may commit— 4 when they sin in any of these ways and realize their guilt, they must return what they have stolen or taken by extortion, or what was entrusted to them, or the lost property they found, 5 or whatever it was they swore falsely about. They must make restitution in full, add a fifth of the value to it and give it all to the owner on the day they present their guilt offering.

How to Deal with a Depressed Spouse

How to Deal with a Depressed Spouse

What Can I Do?

The first and most important thing you can do is to find ways to remind yourself that your spouse or partner is ill—not hostile, not stupid, not out to get you, not stubborn, not any of a dozen unfriendly things you might feel like calling him or her when you are at your wit’s end. Diagnosed depression is much like diabetes or heart disease from the perspective that it is a chronic illness that requires special attention and considerable patience.

Patience of this magnitude is a tall order. It will help if you have a good friend, a supportive family member, a pastor, a therapist, or some other caring person in your life to listen to you and help to shore you up during the hard times. Recovery from depression often takes longer than the ill person or the people surrounding him or her think they can stand. You need someone to be in your corner!

Taking Care of Your Partner

Perhaps the single most important action you can take is to assist your spouse in getting proper diagnosis and treatment for his or her depression from a health care professional.

This is not the time to try to make him or her take responsibility. Not going for treatment is generally not a reflection of irresponsibility. It’s part of the illness. A sense of hopelessness is common to all depressive illnesses and may be the very thing that keeps your spouse from getting needed help! You can gradually turn responsibility back over to him or her when he or she has accepted the diagnosis and is actively working on getting better. In the meantime,

If you have to be the one to schedule the appointment with your spouse’s doctor or therapist, do it!
If you want to ensure that your spouse gets to the appointment, arrange the necessary transportation or provide it yourself.
If medication is prescribed, remind your spouse that it will take several weeks for the effects of medication to be experienced. Remain patient, supportive, and reassuring about the eventual success of treatment.
Offer to assist in monitoring the pill-taking and refill process to ensure that the medication schedule is followed closely to ensure the maximum benefit.
Once the depressed person is under a professional’s care, you can add other kinds of supports:

Encourage, but do not “push,” activities, hobbies, sports, and games that gave your spouse pleasure in the past. Inactivity is common during depressive episodes and can prolong the depressive cycle.
Encourage him or her to be physically active. You can start with something as simple as taking walks together. As your spouse feels a bit better, you can encourage him or her to get to a gym, to get on a bike, to exercise to a video—anything that gets him or her moving.
Make an effort to find things that will make him or her laugh. Rent a comedy video, share a joke, do some gentle teasing, draw on your own sense of the absurd. Laughter is the enemy of depression.
Don’t ignore or make light of suicidal talk. There is a risk for suicide at all phases of depressive illness. Be sure to alert your spouse’s doctor or therapist to suicidal talk— it is likely to be a request for help!

Taking Care of Yourself

If your spouse is unwilling or unable to follow through on social engagements, remember that it is not your job to make excuses for your spouse to family or friends. Letting those you are closest to know that your spouse has been seriously depressed will not only put the issue squarely on the table, but will open up the potential for you to receive the support anyone in your circumstances would need.

Whatever you do, try not to take the depression on as something you can personally “fix.” Although your support, encouragement, and caring are clearly needed, you can’t “love” this particular problem away. Treatment is the answer and the services of a professional are required.

Take care of yourself. You won’t be of much help to yourself or others if you allow your spouse’s depression to envelop you as well. Eat well. Get enough sleep. Stay in contact with your friends. Continue your work and social commitments to the greatest extent possible.

As stated above, don’t hesitate to get some professional help for yourself if you need it. It’s okay to need a private place to deal with your feelings of anger, disappointment, and upset.

Spouses of depressed people often benefit from couples’ work or family therapy involving the depressed partner. A mental health professional can assist the couple or family to recognize and change destructive patterns of relating that often accompany depression in the family. For example, a couple might renegotiate their approach to shared activities and agree to the benefit of time apart. This may remedy disruptions to the social life of the non-depressed spouse and ease marital discord.

Marriage and commitment are for better or worse. Depression is definitely one of the “worse.” It can be trying to maintain one’s own optimism and joy in life when someone you love is under a constant cloud. But with good treatment, encouragement, and caring, most depressed people do recover. With good support, most spouses break through the silence and make it as well.

From:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/suffering-in-silence-when-your-spouse-is-depressed/000334

Laughter is the enemy of depression....
http://www.rd.com/content/how-to-cope-with-a-depressed-spouse

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On Christian Counseling:

1. strengthen the personal relationship with God
2. increase the ability to overcome temptation
3. extend grace and forgiveness to others who have acted harmful
4. overcome anxiety, shame, and guilt through God
5. confront the lies that keep ones in the bondage of sin

Praying to God about ones anxiety is the only answer....

*Devarim - Deuteronomy 31:8

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

*Yeshayahu- Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

*Tehillim - Psalms 34:17
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

*Tehillim - Psalms 42:11

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

*1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

FFT (Reblog)

“The Hunger Games,” Hollywood, and Fighting Fuck Toys

Caroline Heldman's Blog
April 5, 2012
http://carolineheldman.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/the-hunger-games-hollywood-and-fighting-fuck-toys/

“The Hunger Games” is Hollywood’s wake-up call that female action hero movies can be successful if the protagonist is portrayed as a complex subject instead of a hyper-sexualized fighting fuck toy (FFT).

In its first weekend, “The Hunger Games” grossed $155 million, making it the third highest opener of all time (behind the last Harry Potter film and “The Dark Knight”), despite a marketing budget half the size of the major studios. “Hunger” holds the record for top opener outside of July, and the top non-sequel opener. “Hunger” also holds the distinction of being the highest grossing opener with a female protagonist.

By the second weekend, “Hunger” made $251 million in the U.S. — the fastest non-sequel to break the quarter billion dollar mark. While the movie plays up the romance angle more than the books, ”Hunger” is squarely an action thriller, set in a dystopic future world where teens fight to the death in a reality show designed to bolster the dominance of the ruling order.

“Hunger’s” success is partially based on the wide appeal of its teenage hero, Katniss Everdeen, who makes it through the movie without a single scene of sexual objectification (despite opportunities to work this into the story). Katniss is a believable, reluctant hero. She succeeds where other female heroes have failed because she isn’t a FFT.

Fighting fuck toys are hyper-sexualized female protagonists who are able to “kick ass” (and kill) with the best of them. The FFT appears empowered, but her very existence serves the pleasure of the heterosexual male viewer. In short, the FFT takes female agency, weds it to normalized male violence, and appropriates it for the male gaze.

From an ethical standpoint, Hollywood executives should be concerned about the damage girls and women sustain growing up in a society with ubiquitous images of sex objects, but they’re not. From a business standpoint, Hollywood executives should be concerned about the money they could be making with better female action heroes, but so far, they seem pretty clueless.

Hollywood rolls out FFTs every few years that generally don’t perform well at the box office (think Lara Croft, Elektra, Cat Woman, Sucker Punch), leading executives to wrongly conclude that female action leads aren’t bankable. The problem isn’t their sex. The problem is their portrayal as sex objects, and objects aren’t convincing protagonists. Subjects “act” while objects are “acted upon,” so reducing a female action hero to an object, even sporadically, diminishes her ability to believably carry a storyline. The FFT might have an enviable swagger and do cool stunts, but she’s ultimately a bit of a joke.

The comical nature of objectified female protagonists is exposed in the Escher Girls tumbler that critiques the physical contortions of FFTs in video games and comic books.

Likewise, the film “Wonder Woman: The Untold Story of Female Superheroines” documents their evolution in U.S. popular culture with special emphasis on recent hyper-sexualization and subsequent disempowerment.

With the phenomenal success of “The Hunger Games,” Hollywood can no longer deny the bankability of female action leads. Forty percent of the audience for “The Hunger Games” is male, so a great story led by a kick ass female lead who isn’t reduced to a sex object can have wide appeal. As Mark Hughes from Forbes.com points out, movie studios artificially limit their profits when they target male audiences at the expense of other demographics.

Eshet Chayil

A Woman of Valor, called Eshet Chayil in Hebrew, is a hymn which is customarily recited on Friday evenings, after returning from synagogue and singing "Shalom Aleichem" and before sitting down to the Shabbat evening meal.

Eshet Chayil is a twenty-two verse poem with which King Solomon concludes the book of Proverbs (Proverbs 31). The poem has an acrostic arrangement in which the verses begin with the letters of the Hebrew alphabet in regular order. The poem describes the woman of valor as one who are is energetic, righteous, and capable.

According to Aggadic Midrashim (interpretation of the non-legal portions of the Hebrew Bible), the poem was originally composed by Abraham as a eulogy for his wife Sarah.

According to Jewish mysticism, Kabbalah, the poem is a reference to the Shabbat Queen, the spiritual soul-mate of the Jewish nation.

According to commentators, the poem is allegorical. A Woman of Valor has been interpreted as a reference to the Shechinah (Divine presence), the Shabbat, the Torah, wisdom, and the soul. Using Jewish women as the vehicle through which to describe these spiritual manifestations is a tribute to her.

It has become a Jewish custom for men to recite this hymn at the end of the week, and thus to think about and be thankful for all his wife has done for him and their family throughout the past week.

Eshet chayil mi yimtza v'rachok mip'ninim michrah
An accomplished woman, who can find? Her value is far beyond pearls.

Batach bah lev ba'lah v'shalal lo yechsar
Her husband's heart relies on her and he shall lack no fortune.

G'malathu tov v'lo ra kol y'mei chayeiha
She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life.

Darshah tzemer ufishtim vata'as b'chefetz kapeiha
She seeks wool and flax, and works with her hands willingly.

Haitah ko'oniyot socher mimerchak tavi lachmah
She is like the merchant ships, she brings her bread from afar.

Vatakom b'od lailah vatiten teref l'vetah v'chok l'na'aroteiha
She arises while it is still night, and gives food to her household and a portion to her maidservants.

Zam'mah sadeh vatikachehu mip'ri chapeiha nat'ah karem
She plans for a field, and buys it. With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

Chagrah v'oz motneiha vat'ametz zro'oteiha
She girds her loins in strength, and makes her arms strong.

Ta'amah ki tov sachrah lo yichbeh balailah nerah
She knows that her merchandise is good. Her candle does not go out at night.

Yadeha shilchah vakishor v'chapeiha tamchu felech
She sets her hands to the distaff, and holds the spindle in her hands.

Kapah parsah le'ani v'yadeiha shil'chah la'evyon
She extends her hands to the poor, and reaches out her hand to the needy.

Lo tira l'vetah mishaleg ki chol betah lavush shanim
She fears not for her household because of snow, because her whole household is warmly dressed.

Marvadim astah lah shesh v'argaman l'vushah
She makes covers for herself, her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Noda bash'arim ba'lah b'shivto im ziknei aretz
Her husband is known at the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

Sadin astah vatimkor vachagor natnah lak'na'ani
She makes a cloak and sells it, and she delivers aprons to the merchant.

Oz v'hadar l'vushah vatischak l'yom acharon
Strength and honor are her clothing, she smiles at the future.

Piha patchah v'chochma v'torat chesed al l'shonah
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the lesson of kindness is on her tongue.

Tzofi'ah halichot betah v'lechem atzlut lo tochel
She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Kamu vaneha vay'ash'ruha ba'lah vay'hal'lah
Her children rise and praise her, her husband lauds her.

Rabot banot asu chayil v'at alit al kulanah
Many women have done worthily, but you surpass them all.

Sheker hachen v'hevel hayofi ishah yir'at Hashem hi tit'halal
Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears God shall be praised.

T'nu lah mip'ri yadeiha vihal'luha vash'arim ma'aseha
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.




Links:
What is the Eshet Chayil (A Woman of Valor) hymn?
http://judaism.about.com/od/shabbatprayersblessings/f/eshetchayil.htm

The Wife of Noble Character (Proverbs 31:10-31)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31%3A10-31&version=NIV

Longevity, Anyone?

Top 20 Reasons to Go Vegan

Lunch prepared by Chef Linda, director of Compassionate Cuisine,
a vegan culinary program at Catskill Animal Sanctuary

A planet that desperately needs all of us to go vegan, the torture and suffering of animals who want their lives as much as we want ours, and contests with prizes such as your weight in chocolate: The reasons to try a vegan diet during November, World Vegan Month, range from the ethically compelling to the downright silly. If you're concerned about your health, consider the food for thought below, and log on to Catskill Animal Sanctuary's website for recipes and inspiration!

1. Eating processed meat increases the risk of death from heart disease by 72 percent.

2. Animal products contain cholesterol, which can lead to heart disease, America's leading killer, whereas a vegan diet is cholesterol-free!

3. Men who eat 2.5 eggs or more a week have an 81 percent greater chance of developing lethal prostate cancer than those who eat fewer than .5 eggs a week.

4. People who regularly eat processed or red meat are up to 50 percent more likely to develop colon cancer, the second most common cancer worldwide, than individuals who avoid these foods altogether.

5. Vegans have 34 percent fewer incidences of female-specific cancers, like breast, cervical and ovarian cancer.

6. Dairy consumption can trigger acne.

7. Hey Dairy Council: Cow's milk does not "do a body good." In fact, it can leech calcium from your bones.

8. About 60 percent of adults can't digest milk... and humans are the only animals to drink another animal's milk and to drink milk as adults! Hmmm... gotcha thinkin'?

9. Kale contains more calcium per calorie than milk -- 90 grams per serving -- and is better absorbed. Try this great kale salad!

10. Vegans have lower rates of obesity and weigh 5 to 20 pounds less than meat eaters.

11. One in three American children is overweight or obese. A vegan diet, high in fiber, low in fat, cholesterol free, and rich with vitamins and minerals, is an excellent choice for healthy children.

12. A vegan diet has been shown to help treat Type 2 diabetes for many diagnosed with the disease.

13. Our daily protein requirement can easily be met with high protein legumes, nuts, seeds, grains and even leafy vegetables. Consider that many of our top athletes, among them tennis champion Serena Williams, the world's strongest man Patrik Baboumian, MMA fighter Mac Danzig, triathlete Brendan Brazier, and NFL fullback Tony Fiametta are clearly getting all the protein they need!

14. A study led by Dean Ornish, M.D., showed telomeres, DNA-protein complexes that are markers of health and longevity, were elongated among men who adopted a low-fat, plant-based diet. Longer, healthier life, anyone?

15. Omega-3 fatty acids like fish oil are good for you, but are plentiful in plant sources such as hemp seeds, flax seeds, and seaweeds.

16. Worried about B-12 in a vegan diet? Adding fortified foods like breakfast cereals, non-dairy milk, and nutritional yeast make it easy to get the recommended daily intake. Most multivitamins also contain ample B-12.

17. Go vegan for a healthy mind as well! Vegans have lower incidences of anxiety and depression than meat eaters.

18. There is a strong correlation between Alzheimer's disease and the consumption of meat and dairy.

As if the above aren't enough compelling reasons to join the growing ranks of vegans, there's the terrifying and the downright gross:

19. Antibiotics used on factory farmed animals are creating life threatening "superbugs." About 80 percent of U.S. antibiotics are used to keep farmed animals alive in crowded filthy conditions. Bacteria are evolving to resist these antibiotics, leading to new antibiotic-resistant infections. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 2 million people get sick and at least 23,000 die as a result.

20. Pig poop, anyone? The USDA is piloting a program at pig slaughterhouses that speeds up kill lines by 20 percent while halving the number of inspectors. The result? Whole chunks of feces made it to the end of the processing line before being caught by inspectors.

The USDA, Big Ag, powerful lobbies like The Dairy Council and their friends in Congress have duped the American public for decades. Milk does not "do a body good," nor should beef be "what's for dinner." The consumption of animal products is making us sick and fat, causing cataclysmic environmental problems, and subjecting 150 billion individual beings every single year to terror, torture, and suffering. Please... for them, for yourself, and for the only planet we have, I urge you to try veganism during World Vegan Month. Help is just a few keystrokes away. Just google "vegan resources," "veganism," or "vegan recipes." Or simply get started with Compassionate Cuisine -- your body, and your taste buds, will thank you!

From:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-stevens/vegan-diet_b_4282272.html


7 Reasons Kale Is the New Beef
September 30, 2011
by Jill Ettinger

Like the saying goes, the only constant is change. We may resist it all we want, but Time and its inevitable evolution of everything in its path is unaffected by our attempts to stop it. The resulting trajectory of humanity’s nascent ascent appears to be positioning itself to sweep us into progressive new times, especially where our food choices are concerned, as nearly 7 billion people are now standing on the little scraps of land that we share with some 55 billion rather large animals raised for food each year. (As another famous saying goes: This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.) So, beef (and all factory-farmed meat) may be going from rib-eye to relic as we transition to a greener world… literally—as in leafy, green vegetables.

Environmentalists cite meat production as one of the biggest contributors to global warming, and the USDA’s new food pyramid (MyPlate) suggests the healthiest choice is making vegetables and fruit the biggest part of every meal by reducing consumption of animal proteins. Kale is far more nutritious than other leafy greens, but these seven reasons why it is such an important futurefood may just surprise you.

1. Anti-inflammatory: Inflammation is the number one cause of arthritis, heart disease and a number of autoimmune diseases, and is triggered by the consumption of animal products. Kale is an incredibly effective anti-inflammatory food, potentially preventing and even reversing these illnesses.

2. Iron: Despite the myth that vegetarians are anemic, the number of non-vegetarians with iron-deficiencies is on the rise. Per calorie, kale has more iron than beef.

3. Calcium: Dairyand beef both contain calcium, but the U.S. still has some of the highest rates of bone loss and osteoporosis in the world. Kale contains more calcium per calorie than milk (90 grams per serving) and is also better absorbed by the body than dairy.

4. Fiber: Like protein, fiber is a macronutrient, which means we need it every day. But many Americans don’t eat nearly enough and the deficiency is linked to heart disease, digestive disorders and cancer. Protein-rich foods, like meat, contain little to no fiber. One serving of kale not only contains 5 percent of the recommended daily intake of fiber, but it also provides 2 grams of protein.

5. Omega fatty acids: Essential Omega fats play an important role in our health, unlike the saturated fats in meat. A serving of kale contains 121 mg of omega-3 fatty acids and 92.4 mg of omega-6 fatty acids.

6. Immunity: Superbugs and bacteria are a serious risk to our health. Many of these come as a result of factory farm meat, eggs and dairy products. Kale is an incredibly rich source of immune-boosting carotenoid and flavanoid antioxidants including vitamins A and C.

7. Sustainable: Kale grows to maturity in 55 to 60 days versus a cow raised for beef for an average of 18-24 months. Kale can grow in most climates and is relatively easy and low impact to grow at home or on a farm. To raise one pound of beef requires 16 pounds of grain, 11 times as much fossil fuel and more than 2,400 gallons of water.

From:
http://www.organicauthority.com/health/reasons-kale-is-the-new-beef-nutritious-sustainable.html

Und wer kämpft jetzt noch für die Freiheit?

von KARSTEN POLKE-MAJEWSKI
2. Oktober 2013



Die FDP ist erledigt, der Liberalismus kommt ins Museum. Doch die Freiheit bleibt bedroht. Wir dürfen sie nicht aus Bequemlichkeit verspielen.


Man könnte den Bundespräsidenten fragen. Natürlich würde er nichts zum Wahldesaster der FDP sagen. Oder dazu, welche Partei stattdessen jetzt die liberale Fahne im Bundestag schwenken sollte. Schließlich steht er von Amts wegen über den Parteien. Aber vielleicht würde Joachim Gauck einem unauffällig ein Büchlein zustecken. Darin hat er sein Lebensthema auf wenigen Seiten zusammengefasst. Der Titel: Freiheit.


Eben noch bedachte das Land Rainer Brüderle mit Häme, wenn er für "ein Leben in Freiheit" Wahlkampf machte. Doch kaum ist das parlamentarische Aus der Liberalen besiegelt, geht die Angst um, mit ihnen könnte der Liberalismus verschwinden, also die politische Forderung nach mehr Freiheit.


Auf den ersten Blick erscheint das paradox. So viel Freiheit wie heute war doch nie. Weil es sich so leicht vergisst: Die Leibeigenschaft ist abgeschafft, die Menschenrechte, die Religions-, Meinungs- und Versammlungsfreiheit sind gewonnen, alle Bürger sind gleich vor dem Gesetz, alle dürfen wählen (auch Frauen), Eigentum und Wohnung sind geschützt. Quälende Anstandsregeln sind gefallen, der Kuppelparagraf, das Verbot des Ehebruchs und das der Homosexualität. Nicht mehr lange, und die Homo-Ehe wird der konventionellen gänzlich gleichgestellt. Jeder hat ein Recht auf Bildung, darf seinen Beruf frei wählen und sich wirtschaftlich frei betätigen. Und das ist nur der Anfang der Liste.


Wenn liberal sein bedeutet, für die Rechte und Freiheiten des Individuums zu kämpfen, könnte man also sagen: Mission erfüllt. Dem Liberalismus gebührt dann ein Ehrenplatz in der Vitrine der deutschen Geschichte.


Oder aber man liest Gauck, der Freiheit als eine flüchtige Angelegenheit begreift: "Da war es, dieses merkwürdige Unvermögen, aktiv zu werden, wenn aus der Sehnsucht nach Freiheit die Gestaltung von Freiheit wird, wenn wir Freiheit von etwas schon erleben durften, aber Freiheit zu etwas noch nicht können."


Offenbar braucht es jemanden, der in einer Diktatur lebte und die Freiheit noch nicht so lange besitzt, um das Missverständnis aufzudecken, diese Freiheit müsste nur einmal errungen werden und dann sei alles gut. Das Gegenteil ist richtig: Freiheit muss ständig gesucht und gegen ihre Feinde verteidigt werden.


Wo denn?


Zum Beispiel, wenn Sonntagabend um halb zehn eine E-Mail vom Chef im Smartphone aufpoppt. Wenn das verpflichtende Meeting von 15 auf 17 Uhr verschoben wird, obwohl der Vertrauensarbeitszeittag schon um acht Uhr begann. Entgrenzte Arbeit nennt man das dann lapidar. Man kann auch von einem Verlust von Freiheit am Feierabend sprechen. Ähnliches gilt übrigens für die monströsen Leistungserwartung an vielen Schulen.


Oder: Wenn Geheimdienste und Internetkonzerne sich zusammentun, um unsere Privatsphäre und unser digitales Zusammenleben auszuspähen. Wenn sie unsere Datenspuren zu Mustern verdichten und daraus Vorhersagen darüber ableiten, welche Produkte zu uns passen; ob wir gesund und vertrauenswürdig genug sind für diese oder jene Versicherung; ob wir ein Sicherheitsproblem darstellen, vielleicht sogar potenzielle Terroristen sein könnten. Wenn Sicherheitsbehörden und Innenpolitiker mit der Begründung der Terrorbekämpfung Videoüberwachungen durchsetzen, Vorratsdaten speichern, uns nacktscannen, Lauschangriffe erlauben wollen, sogar Flugzeuge abschießen und die Folter legalisieren würden (wenigstens die letzten beiden Ideen wurden vom Verfassungsgericht kassiert).


Noch mehr Beispiele gefällig? Der Machbarkeitswahn in der Medizin – nie musste ein Körper so gut funktionieren wie heute. Das Verlangen nach einem Blasphemie-Paragrafen. Denn über Religion soll man nicht spotten, zumal nicht, seit konservative Muslime im Land leben.


Und im ganz Großen: Wenn die Macht in entfernte intergouvermentale oder ganz andere Institutionen auswandert, in die Europäische Zentralbank, den Internationalen Währungsfonds, den Europäischen Rat mit seinen vielen Gipfeln, auch in die internationalen Finanzmärkte – lauter Einrichtungen ohne direkte demokratische Legitimation. Welches Land ist da noch frei zur Gestaltung?


All das sind Freiheitsbedroher. Es gibt noch viel mehr, reichlich Gründe, den Liberalismus zu propagieren. Warum tut es keiner?


Weil die Freiheitsbedroher es einem leicht machen, sich für die Unfreiheit zu entscheiden. Sie setzen auf unsere Bequemlichkeit. Immer erreichbar zu sein, heißt ja auch, nicht ständig am Schreibtisch hocken zu müssen. Facebook und Google horchen einen vielleicht aus, aber sie machen das Kommunizieren auch viel leichter. Manchmal ist die individualisierte Werbung sogar ganz interessant. Solange man sich bewegen kann, wo man will, schert es einen wenig, ob man beobachtet oder gescannt wird. Wessen Besitzstände gewahrt werden, dem kann es gleich sein, ob eine gewählte Regierung dafür sorgt oder eine anonyme Mega-Institution.


Den Freiheitsbedrohern hilft, dass sie in der Regel auf eine Minderheit zielen. Wenn dunkelhäutige Menschen überdurchschnittlich oft in Polizeikontrollen geraten, fühlt sich der Durchschnittsdeutsche nicht unfreier. Wem Religion schnurz ist, der muss sich keine Gedanken machen, ob sie beleidigt oder nur verspottet wird. Wie die Griechen unter dem Spardruck ächzen, sehen die Deutschen höchstens im Fernsehen.


Unfreiheit tut eben nicht immer weh. Da ist sie trotzdem. Und wer unfrei ist, wird fremdbestimmt. Wer aber fremdbestimmt wird, kann nicht mehr selbst entscheiden, wann etwas zu weit geht. So beschränken die Freiheitsbedroher die Autonomie des Individuums und untergraben die Demokratie.


Wer frei sein will, muss sich bewusst dafür entscheiden. Er muss sich darüber klar werden, was Freiheit ausmacht: Einen möglichst großen Handlungsraum für alle zu eröffnen. Die Grenze der eigenen Freiheit bildet dann das Wohlergehen der anderen. Aber auch nur das.


Brauchen wir eine liberale Partei?


Freiheit zu erringen und zu verteidigen heißt also, Verantwortung für sich und andere zu übernehmen. Es heißt auch, aus dieser Verantwortung heraus Macht auszuüben und sich zugleich in ihrer Ausübung beschränken zu lassen. "Entscheidend ist die Teilhabe an der Macht oder die Unterwerfung unter die Macht, die uns zu Bürgern oder zu Nichtbürgern macht", schreibt Gauck.


Braucht es dazu eine liberale Partei im Parlament? Nicht, wenn man darunter die entkernte FDP versteht. Aber sich darauf zu verlassen, dass der liberale Gedanke längst in alle anderen Parteien einwanderte, ist ebenso falsch.


Da mag Sigmar Gabriel die SPD zur Erbin des politischen Liberalismus ausrufen, da mögen die Grünen sich schon für die neuen Liberalen halten, da können Unionisten an den liberalen Strom ihrer Gründungszeit erinnern. Ihnen allen ist gemein, dass sie zwar das Wort liberal für sich reklamieren, es aber allzu schnell mit ganz anderen Wertvorstellungen auffüllen. Der Liberalismus aber denkt Politik vom Individuum her, nicht vom Staat, der Gemeinschaft, der Wirtschaft oder der Umwelt. Entscheidend ist also die Perspektive. Ohne liberale Partei bleibt eine Leerstelle im parlamentarischen System zurück. Umso wichtiger ist es, dass sich die Bürger einen starken liberalen Geist erhalten. Der Freiheit wegen.



http://www.zeit.de/politik/deutschland/2013-10/liberalismus-zukunft-fdp-freiheit

Animotion - I Engineer

Classic!!!!

Animotion - I Engineer

Ingress, the game.

Ingress, the game.

I find this game very amusing as well as addictive. I bet this is the start of new kind of computer game that could be more than a reality show (game). The players are more likely on the physical move (run) chasing one portal after another to build up their faction’s stronghold within a particular area and then construct it to a bigger district in a real-time, real-world environment. Not to mention, that one could learn and appreciate particular places or sites where some monuments, architecture, sculpture or visual arts are located.

I’m playing it for sometime now, I read about the game and the rules since Google launch it last November. After I received my invite code, I immediately studied the short training program and now applying it appropriately so I can help my faction and not just for my own sake. In my mind, it is a game to apply 'teamwork' like in the real world organization.

But somehow, I also observed that some players behave like little kids ‘especially’ when they are just starting. I don’t know if they read the Google rules or not because it’s kind a funny when some players are guarding their portals (not leaving on the site for sometime) after taking over it. I experienced this situation on two occasions while I’m ready to take over a portal, the owner still continued to put their resonators again while I’m already attacking it, LoLz. So in this case (like me), I think some players will just leave pissed off. Some players are taking it personally in my perception by counter attacking the players who took their portals or fields, my goodness it’s just a game. You can also find some within the same faction who are playing selfishly alone just to level up, a show off, don’t care about the other lower level players :^). In my opinion, this kind of behaviour/style is rude, not a grown-up and not helping their factions.

I hope the players will realize that this is just a (augmented reality) game and one will not gain any money but only friends…. Good, if Google will give a free Google Glass to the first 1,000,000 winners (maybe/hope) but of course the corporation also wants to earn money from the people who would like to use and buy the gadget in the next future games…..

Conclusion (September update):

After playing Ingress for almost 8 months, the game itself is getting ridiculous :^) (doing it over and over again) plus time consuming, but in return I gained new friends.

I also conclude that this is only good for pensioners/retirees who needs exercise or for jobless people but have the money from their gov't support or from their parents :^) to get a smart phone with internet line and who have all the time hacking .

IMO, I recommend that students who would like to get A+ grades, should not waste too much time playing Ingress (if they would be addicted and be consumed by it, like any other home computer games is very awful). This is also a bad game for working people with young children because they would lose their precious time raising their kids, like reading books for them.... or they themselves will not have the time to read books and watch some films.


By MarL©2013


P.S.
BTW, I broke my own record (was kinda jogging then), continuously destroyed more than 30-L8 portals w/ turrets,amps,very rare shields (some were not so close to each other even) for about 2&1/2 hours (then... more than 12-L8 portals the next 2 days, plus 4 more the next week), where I believe no resistance player will ever do it :^), unless they are spoofers. Only the Enlightened ones can do such thing!

Love Care Share (Reblog)

I just saw this on the net....

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner
20 September 2007
http://lovecareshare.blogspot.com/2007/09/when-i-got-home-that-night-as-my-wife.html

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.


Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

_____________________________________________
Nice tips :^) (Reblog) from Nathaniel

GUYS, A FEW TIPS…
http://nathanpersuasion.tumblr.com/post/5384476558

-when a girl is about to sleep, make sure she doesn’t sleep mad (especially if she’s mad at you) make her smile and make her night.

-good morning and goodnight texts/calls aren’t needed, but most likely they will like it. (and when your calling her at night, make sure you take a nap before so you can stay up at night for her, until she falls asleep.)

-make sure to always treat her as if everyday is valentines day. you shouldn’t just buy her candied hearts once every year, do it every once in awhile, she’ll like it.

-if your in a long distance relationship, trust her, there is a reason why she’s with you and not with those guys over there. (she likes you if you didn’t get it by now..)

-make her something, sometimes girls don’t want store bought items, they want something special, like.. a poem you made for her… or a paper heart.. as long as you put effort into it, she’ll think its better than anything that can be bought.

-never play with a girls heart. never ever should you do that. and dont hit girls bro.. never hit a girl.

and for my last tip

-love her, love her like she’s never been loved before.. and don’t just say you love her, but show it to her, do anything to show her that you truly do love her.

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Coconuts and sunshine

Coconuts and sunshine will soon provide all the electricity demands of the South Pacific islands of Tokelau.

Foua Toloa, Tokelau's leader, announced this week that by the middle of next year solar energy will supply 93 per cent of Tokelau's electricity – the rest will come from coconut oil. Motor vehicles and some cooking devices will still use fossil fuels, but renewables will power most of the nation's technology.

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20901-coconuts-and-sunshine-will-power-south-pacific-islands.html

Are cancers newly evolved species?

Are cancers newly evolved species?
By Robert Sanders
Cancerous tumors are parasitic organisms, he said. Each one is a new species that, like most parasites, depends on its host for food, but otherwise operates independently and often to the detriment of its host.

“Cancer is comparable to a bacterial level of complexity, but still autonomous, that is, it doesn’t depend on other cells for survival; it doesn’t follow orders like other cells in the body, and it can grow where, when and how it likes,” said Duesberg. “That’s what species are all about.”

http://newscenter.berkeley.edu/2011/07/26/are-cancers-newly-evolved-species/